Have you noticed that stranger in your home?
Yes? They are wearing the wedding ring that matches yours!
It may seem like a joke, but often spouses get to a point where they feel like they don't even know each other anymore. Years of marriage can cause two people to slowly – and often imperceptibly – drift apart until they feel more like roommates than spouses.
You may have known each other well once – years ago. When couples first meet, they spend hours talking and getting to know each other. But people aren’t static; they grow and change. Their likes and dislikes, their perceptions and opinions, and even their habits are all subject to shifting throughout the years. It is important to stay up to date with this person you share your life with.
Most importantly, if you realize your spouse is more like a stranger these days, don’t despair. It’s an opportunity for a new adventure and discovery.
Easy Ways to Get to Know Each Other Again
So maybe you can’t take a spur-of-the-moment vacation like you did when you first got married. But there are some easy fun ways you can get to know each other again at home.
Observe your spouse when they’re not aware of it. Watch them interact with other people and remind yourself of all the things you love about them. Remain curious. Note the sweet and amazing traits they’ve developed through time and discover new things that you love.
Take at least 20 minutes a day to talk - really talk. Sit down together, face each other, and talk about your feelings, your dreams, your problems, your plans – the things that spark deep discussions. Use loving and heartfelt expressions, listen attentively to each other, and compliment each other often. Remind each other that you’re best friends.
Plan weekly date nights
Get some distance from everyday life and look at re-discovering your spouse as if it’s the beginning of your relationship. Take turns planning dates and have fun being together. Keep the emphasis on having fun. Don't use your special time together to talk about household management or the children.
Take a stroll down memory lane
Reminisce about the memories you’ve created together over the years. Talk about what means the most to you. Remind each other why you fell in love. Go through old pictures or gather some of the songs that have special meaning to you both.
Share your passions
Ask your spouse to show or tell you something they’ve learned over the years or a talent they’ve discovered. Sharing your passion is like sharing a piece of yourself. Plus, asking your mate to share their passions with you makes them feel appreciated and special.
Try something new together
Step outside your comfort zone and let your imagination guide you. Learning something new together creates new connections between the two of you. Start working out at the local gym, take dancing lessons or pottery classes, or discover your ancestral backgrounds together. Start an adventure!
Bring touch back into your relationship. Sit together and hold hands, cuddle, caress or massage each other, or discover each other’s ticklish spots. Bond and be affectionate. Have non-sexual, physical contact whenever you can – a pat on the back, a squeeze of the hand, a hug.
Get romantic. Light some candles, turn on the soft music, and take a long bubble bath together. Or turn up the heat a notch and discover new ways of being sexually intimate. Make a list and let each other know what you would like to try out. You may find out some things you never expected from your mate.
Above all, don’t lose heart. Even if you’ve discovered you’re living with a stranger, it’s not too late to rebuild your togetherness. Keeping an open mind and staying curious is vital if you want to get to know each other again.
Look at it this way: There’s a whole new person in your house that you can date all over again. Have fun with it!