Celebrate Your Mate! 7 Great Ways to Support Your Spouse

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There are many special occasions to celebrate in a marriage—wedding anniversaries, a child’s birth, a new home, birthdays, promotions, etc.

Those things are important to most of us on a grand scale. After all, they don’t happen every day.

But why do we often hold the belief that only those outstanding events and days are worthy of celebration? How about celebrating something on a daily basis?

Something that you may have gotten so used to that you tend to overlook it?  What am I talking about?

Your Spouse! That's right, that special person who shares your life, day in and day out.

Celebrating and supporting your mate on a daily basis encourages a deeper connection between the two of you. If enthusiasm and joy are absent—even for little things—your spouse may come to believe that you no longer care the way you used to.  

So, how can you celebrate your mate every day?

The Best Ways to Show Your Spouse How Much They Mean to You

1. Pay attention to them

Giving your undivided attention to your spouse in this distraction-filled world is a compelling way to show that you care. Instead of responding to emails from work or tapping around on your phone while watching a TV show, give each other the gift of unplugging for a while. Literally turn toward your spouse with your full attention.

Stop existing in separate spheres and share an intimate conversation. Look at your partner, listen to them, and respond kindly. Ask them what they need or want from you and genuinely pay attention.

When working with couples who are struggling to recover from infidelity, the cheating spouse frequently states that they became entangled in the affair because the other person paid attention to them and made them feel special. Everyone thrives on that feeling of being special to someone.  

2. Honor their feelings

Trying to ease your spouse’s sadness and pain by telling them they shouldn’t feel that way can invalidate their emotions, as if they’re irrational or unnecessary. Rather than helping, you may irritate them.

However, when you recognize that your spouse’s feelings are normal responses based on their unique personality and background, you can simply honor and validate them without trying to fix them.

A person feels genuinely understood when they feel heard.  

3. Respect their individuality

Your spouse has their own way of doing things, just as you do. When you insist that they deal with an issue—big or small—the way you want them to, they feel controlled. They also feel that no matter what they do, it's never good enough, so they give up and stop trying.  They emotionally withdraw. 

Of course, you can make suggestions and provide input, if your partner has asked for it, but try to refrain from lecturing. Instead, respect their individuality and support their way of handling a task or reaching out for a goal.

4. Let them know that you’re proud of them

Making sure that your spouse knows you’re proud of their achievements is a powerful way to lift their spirits and sense of self. Celebrate them reaching their goals. Be excited when they share their accomplishments.

Express your appreciation of their talent, strengths, and beauty. Let them know how things they do warm your heart or how they inspire respect in you. The more specific you can be, the more connected and loved they’ll feel.

5. Develop empathy and understanding

Projecting your own anxiety, guilt, and inner critic onto your mate can interfere with  being uplifting and supportive of your spouse. Instead of being skeptical of a decision your partner has made or an action they have taken, be curious and seek to understand and develop empathy toward their actions, feelings and thoughts.

6. Be thoughtful and considerate

Being thoughtful means you have to actually “think” about your spouse. Perhaps you can support them by helping out without them asking. Cook dinner at times, put gas in their car, handle housekeeping tasks, or put the children to bed. A small gesture like getting them a cup of coffee or rubbing their back can go a long way. That is especially so when you surprise them with a treat that meets a need or want they had expressed.

Develop the habit of thinking about what's going on in your spouse's daily life - what is their mood, what are they struggling with, what are they dreading or looking forward to?

7. Demonstrate affection

Being affectionate and attentive—hugging, kissing, sexual intimacy—is critical for feeling connected to each other. Go to bed at the same time or linger in bed in the morning, snuggling. An intentional reunion at the end of the day, telling your spouse how happy you are to see them, will make them feel appreciated. And never underestimate the power of a sincere personal compliment.

Attention - Honor - Respect - Pride - Empathy - Consideration - Affection.  All are worthy of celebration.  

Above everything, never make your spouse feel like a possession that you control. Treat them as a gift! Honor and support them! Yes, celebrate your mate!