Relationship Counseling for Singles
"I should be married by now."
"All my friends are married and having babies. What's wrong with me?"
"Why do I get into one bad relationship after another?"
"I'm afraid of being alone."
"Any relationship is better than no relationship."
"I see the red flags, but I'm sure they'll change with time."
"How do I get over this break-up/divorce and move on with my life?"
Relationship counseling isn't for couples only. As human beings, we are hard-wired to seek relationship with others, especially that one "special other," the person with whom we form a safe bond to share our lives day in and day out. But there is something worse than being alone, and that is being in a dysfunctional relationship.
WHAT DOES A HEALTHY RELATIONSHIP LOOK LIKE?
If you answer "yes" to most of the following questions, you're probably in a good relationship that is worth pursuing:
- Do you make each other better people? Do you help each other grow?
- Do you maintain a positive perspective about your relationship and encourage each other to meet your personal goals and ambitions?
- Do you introduce each other to healthy activities and interests?
- Do you share healthy habits? Do you motivate each other to change negative patterns?
- Do you provide emotional support for each other, especially during challenging times?
- Can you trust that you won't be abandoned?
- Are you able to engage in open and honest communication with each other? Is it safe to be vulnerable with your partner?
- Do you enjoy each other and have fun being together?
- Are you able to genuinely listen to each other and compromise when conflict arises?
- Do you express appreciation, fondness, and admiration for each other versus taking each other for granted?
- Do you respect each other's privacy and boundaries?
- Do you have a respectful emotional and sexual relationship?
WARNING SIGNS THAT YOUR RELATIONSHIP
IS NOT HEALTHY
Relationships are rarely perfect, but if you think, "That's us," to several of the following behaviors, you might want to re-evaluate your commitment:
- Attempts to isolate, control, or manipulate you
- Episodes of physical violence
- Yelling and screaming during conflict
- Criticism of your personality or body image
- Lack of emotional support, especially during difficult times
- Calls you "stupid" and other demeaning names
- Compares you unfavorably with others
- Does not respect your privacy and boundaries
- Belittles your successes
- Cannot be depended on
- You fear their anger
- Cheats with no remorse
- You feel lonely in the relationship
- You feel trapped
- They make frequent threats to leave
- Addiction to a substance or behavior
- You make excuses for their poor behavior
- You feel obligated to have sex when you don't want to
If these behaviors are characteristic of your relationship, signs that you should seek help include:
- Feeling indecisive about whether to stay or leave
- Deciding to leave, but keep staying
- Staying for the wrong reasons, e.g., a fear of being alone or guilt
- Failing to set limits on what you will put up with
RELATIONSHIP COUNSELING CAN HELP
Relationship counseling can enable you to:
- Understand the emotional factors that have an impact on your relationship, including influences from your family-of-origin and other childhood experiences
- Recognize and establish healthy boundaries
- Discover maladaptive beliefs and distorted thought patterns that sabotage your relationships
- Recognize red flags before getting involved with toxic partners
- Learn how to communicate assertively and not fear and avoid conflict when it arises
- Learn to understand the factors that make relationships successful
- Overcome your fear of being alone by getting to know and value yourself.
SEEK HELP NOW
I can offer you a safe, non-judgmental space to explore your relationship questions with professional guidance. If you would like to schedule an appointment, visit my contact page here. If you have questions or reservations, I'm happy to schedule a free 15-minute phone consult or, if you prefer, you may send your questions to me via e-mail.